trying to say something

...And when they tell you life is not like this,

life is never like this, life will never be like this,

insist that the sun has always found a time and a place,

the moon too knows when and where to enter,

and you too have your stories,

and you too have your place.



~Shira Erlichman, "How to Tell a Story"

here it is studio time

pages, pages and pages

mark and scratch

carve and stamp

i follow the path to where it leads

soon there will be books

i love the sun of sweet autumn

the visit of bears and coyotes to the fruit trees

warm afternoons and crisp evenings

i want to preserve the light somehow

to remind me on dark winter nights that

the sun and moon each have their place

i want to tell each artist how much i

enjoy and revere their work

how my eyes take delight

how I read each word you write

and feel connected on the path we walk

alone but together

When the woman you live with is an artist, 

every day is a surprise. 

Clare has turned the second bedroom into a wonder cabinet, 

full of small sculptures and drawings pinned up on every inch of wall space. 

There are coils of wire and rolls of paper tucked into shelves and drawers.

The next day I come home to find that Clare 

has created a flock of paper and wire birds, 

which are hanging from the ceiling in the living room. 

A week later our bedroom windows are full of abstract blue translucent shapes 

that the sun throws across the room onto the walls, 

making a sky for the bird shapes Clare has painted there. 

It's beautiful.

The next evening I'm standing in the doorway of Clare's studio, 

watching her finish drawing 

a thicket of black lines around a little red bird. 

Suddenly I see Clare, 

in her small room, 

closed in by all her stuff, 

and I realize that she's trying to say something, 

and I know what I have to do.

~Audrey Niffengger, The Time Traveler’s Wife

Sketchbook Journey

Leslie Avon Miller Sketchbook Page

In large measure, becoming an artist consists of learning to accept yourself, 

which makes your work personal, 

and in following your own voice, 

which makes your work distinctive.

David Bayles / Ted Orland

Leslie Avon Miller Sketchbook Page

But if you want to become a decent cobbler, 

it’s not enough to enthuse over human feet. 

You have to know your leather, 

your tools, pick the right pattern, and so forth. . . . 

It holds true for artistic creation too.

~poet Wislawa Szymborska

Leslie Avon Miller Sketchbook Page

If I was asked to get rid of the Zen aesthetic 

and just keep one quality necessary to create art, 

I would say its trust. 

When you learn to trust yourself implicitly, 

you no longer need to improve something through your art. 

You simply allow it to come out, to be effortless. 

It happens just as you grow your hair. 

It grows.

~John Daido Loori

Leslie Avon Miller Sketchbook Page

 

So, know your tools, know your medium, and then trust. My art will grow. Your art will grow.

There is something about a sketch book that builds trust. There is something about a sketchbook that lets me develop my tools, my knowledge. It’s a place to think without self censorship.

Things are good. My health continues to improve without acrylic VOCs and other things I am sensitive to. A few changes have been made to the studio which is improving the air quality.

I continue to explore information about art supplies. Many artists are writing to tell me of products they have found to be good alternatives to the ones that are so toxic. 

Other artists are questioning their materials and expressing health concerns. I am continuing the research and conversation on my new blog Detoxing My Art Practice. 

 I appreciate all the emails and blog comments on this blog and the detox blog with helpful suggestions. 

Leslie Avon Miller Sketchbook Page

I have had the pleasure of interviewing artist Shayla Perreault Newcomb. Shayla's story is truly inspirational! Go here to read part one of her incredible journey from being an artist who was made ill by her materials to one who has found a new path. Surrender to Healing - a Personal Detox Story

And right now, for me, working in a sketchbook is perfect. Just perfect. I feel my artistic vision is getting stronger from this change of pace. A good thing. 

Painting is a journey. 

It is the way I mark my path through life.  

~Virginia Cobb

I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around...

Gaia's Pond

mixed media by Leslie Avon Miller

This post is a reblog from November 12, 2010. Seth Apter at The Altered Page has an annual event in which he invites bloggers to share a post from the past.

This is what Seth has to say about Buried Treasure:

So many blogs...so little time. With so many wonderful art blogs to follow, it is difficult to always find the time to keep up with every new post -- let alone have the time to visit the posts that were put up before you discovered each blog.

So...three years ago I started an annual treasure hunt. Buried Treasure is about digging deep to uncover some hidden gems. The premise is simple. On Wednesday, July 11th all participating bloggers will re-post one (or more) of their favorite posts that ever appeared on their blog.

So without further ado – here is one of my favorite posts. I also enjoyed the resulting conversations. You can find the original comments here.

 

Today.

I want to make art. I have time.

Walk and take photographs.

Paint.

Flat efforts.

Tidy working space.

Look at my art.

Tidy living space.

Look at other people’s art.

Read about other people’s art.

That’s what that’s about?

Look up the word oeuvre.

That’s a big word.

Not in size. In meaning.

Read poetry.

Read more poetry.

Organize poetry collection.

Stumble upon rich quote.

Laughter and gaiety.

Thinking, thinking.

Feed the cats, and find comfort in the

familiar.

See the daylight begin to fade.

Realize what it’s about for me.

Make a list of words.

A map for my work.

It’s all ok.

I kind of know what I am saying.

I am exploring, seeking, finding.

Choosing. Integrating. Releasing.

Look up the word imbue.

That one will work.

I’ve found the door to get

back in

my art.

The poem:

On Becoming the Poet You Were Meant to Become

(note to self)

Many poets are not poets
for the same reason that
many religious men are not saints:
they never succeed in being themselves.

They never get around to being the particular poet
or the particular monk they are intended to be by God.
They never become the man or the artist who is called
for by all the circumstances of their individual lives.

They waste their years in vain efforts
to be some other poet, some other saint…

They wear out their minds and bodies in a hopeless endeavor
to have somebody else's experiences or write somebody else's poems.

There is intense egoism in following everybody else.
People are in a hurry to magnify themselves
by imitating what is popular—
too lazy to think of anything better.

~Thomas Merton

The quote:

I tell you, we are here on Earth

to fart around, and don't let

anyone tell you any differently.

~Kurt Vonneget

They mean the same thing.

Keep some room in your heart

Untitled Collage by Leslie Avon Miller

The Guest House


This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.


A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes
as an unexpected visitor.


Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they're a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.

He may be clearing you out
for some new delight.

Untitled Collage by Leslie Avon Miller

The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing,
and invite them in.

Be grateful for whoever comes,
because each has been sent
as a guide from beyond.
 

~ Rumi ~

texture sample by Leslie Avon Miller

I have been a guest house to a number of fluctuating emotions of late…

Sadness and feelings of loss on top of feeling adrift as I am no longer working with paints, acrylics…. I don’t know what to do. I have also felt annoyed. I don’t want to change mediums! I don’t want to go on yet another up hill learning curve. I want what I want! (See me stomping my feet?)

I also have feelings of joy and gratitude because I certainly feel much better now that I am no longer exposed to intense VOCs. Living in harmony with my physical self is delightful. There is a spring in my step. I am quick to laugh. Life is good!

Because my painting routine has been interrupted, I have found myself with more time and space, which has been freeing. I had a day of total silence this weekend to explore where I am now, with my art, my well-being, and my process as a creative individual. I simply listened to the silence. I felt at peace about it all. I don’t know where I am going; I only know where I am right this minute. 

Texture sample by Leslie Avon Miller

The painting sample above is a guide I have used in my studio for years. I think of it and the one further above as "samplers" of the textures I make with acrylic. I miss this technical knowledge, these things I know. 

Explorations with water color and collage have been engaging and enjoyable. I have no real expectations, so it’s all an interesting foray into new worlds.

Researching options for art products, techniques, and the general process of detoxing has lead to a lot of information. 

I wanted somewhere to keep this wealth of information, so I started a new blog. It’s called Detoxing My Art Practice.

As I research and try the art materials I already own I am posting my thoughts and those of the manufacturers and other artists. Today I experimented with oil pastels. I will be posting about those on the new blog soon.

Keep some room in your heart for the unimaginable.

~ Mary Oliver

Art Studios and Divorce

Happily Ever After

24 x 24

Acrylic with mixed media

Leslie Avon Miller

As an extension of my hand, tied by an invisible wire to my thoughts, based on a library in my head with volumes of knowledge, the paint and I work together.

That’s how I feel about the water media I use. Splatter, and I know just how that will work. Slather with my gloved hand, lift and move paint around with papers of all kinds. It delights me every time. Acrylic media and I have a long standing relationship.

But now I am getting a “divorce”. Or at least a legal separation.

The media I know so well has become a sort of toxin, a source of Organic Volatile Compounds (VOCs) in the studio. They seep into my system and make me sick by causing indoor air pollution in the studio, despite two hepa filters running all the time. I know I will get a filter with carbon which will eliminate and absorb even more VOCs in the studio.

Exposure to VOCs can lead to short-term health effects including headaches, nausea, irritation of the eyes, nose and throat and skin irritation, while long-term exposure has been linked to respiratory diseases and even cancer. Symptoms like constant headaches, nausea, muscle aches, sinus infections, skin rashes, and stuffy noses can result from prolonged use of toxic materials or improper application.

Healing yourself is connected

with healing others. 

~Yoko Ono

Acrylic. I must give it up. But what will fill the void? I have several paintings that have the initial layer of acrylic but are not finished. I tried water color on top of acrylic today. I brought out my water color crayons and markers. 

Once Upon A Time

12 x 12

Acrylic, water color and mixed media

Leslie Avon Miller

I think of my studio as a vegetable garden, 

where things follow their natural course. 

They grow, they ripen. You have to graft. 

You have to water. 

~Joan Miro

I don’t have any oils. For years I thought oils were the source of a lot of studio air pollution. However, artist Shayla Perreault Newcomb has found that she can use oils and then cooking oil, not turpentine, to clean her brushes. That’s working for her.

I have just started to research the cure for indoor pollution in my studio. I highly recommend this post at  Shayla’s blog as a good place to start.

You can find many articles and blog posts about this topic by goggling Art Studio Air Quality. And here is a link to an interesting article by a certified sustainable building advisor and writer. She has interviewed a friend who grew up in a home with an art studio only separated by a sliding glass door from the family’s living space, and tells about the health challenges this caused for the artist and family members. The article has tips on Green Art.

I am looking at having a professional quality hood installed as part of my painting station, much like in a restaurant, but the airflow should go down, then out. I wish I had thought of that when we were building. And I am going to keep researching.

More experimentation. Here I come. How is the air quality in your studio? Do you feel your art practice is green and healthy?